Is It Normal To Feel Worse At The Beginning Of Therapy? YES!

Is It Normal To Feel Worse At The Beginning Of Therapy? YES!

Let’s set the scene: you’re walking into your first therapy session. You’re nervous. It took courage for you to even reach out in the first place. But everyone says that therapy is worth it. Therapy will make you feel better. Just give it a try.

Fast forward to the end of your first few sessions: you’re actually NOT feeling much better. Maybe you were for a week or so, but now negative emotions are swirling through your body. You’re still not sure how to deal with them and you find your life changing in ways you didn’t really think you wanted.

If this is you, we’re here to tell you: this is normal. know, it seems backwards, but stick with us: often therapy seems to make things worse before they get better.

Think about it: what happens when you hurt your body physically? How does the healing process work? It hurts. It scabs. You may have to have surgery or stitches. Healing the physical body is PAINFUL.

So why would healing yourself mentally be any different?

The early stages of therapy can be confusing, and overwhelming, and yes, it may even feel like you’re going backwards.

But you aren’t.

This initial stage of therapy is what we call your therapy adjustment period or a therapy hangover; let’s talk about it!

What Is The Point Of Therapy?

Why Did You Choose Therapy?

First, let’s address your WHY. Why did you seek out therapy in the first place? Is it because of a traumatic event? Is it to manage your emotions? Is it because you’ve been feeling more down or anxious than normal?

Whatever you’re why, it’s important to remember that reason and hold it close to you as you start your therapy journey. Remember your why when you’re dealing with the early therapy challenges in your therapy adjustment period.

When it feels like you’re actually feeling worse at the beginning of therapy, remember your WHY.

What Is The Purpose Of Therapy?

Ultimately, you probably chose to go to therapy to heal, learn coping skills, or understand yourself better.

And guess what: that is the purpose of therapy. Therapy isn’t like a magical wand that you wave and presto: you’re healed! 

Yes, therapy is here to help you get better, but getting better will often result in you feeling worse in the beginning. Because it’s new. And you're dealing with tough stuff!

In fact, if you find yourself asking these questions: 

1. Is it normal to feel worse at the beginning of therapy?

2. Can therapy make anxiety worse before it gets better?

3. Does therapy get harder before it gets easier?

4. How many therapy sessions until I feel better?

You actually are probably on the right path. While your therapy hangover may feel awful now, getting through your therapy adjustment period is the key to unlocking deep healing and changing your life.

Why Does Therapy Make You Feel Worse?

Let’s dive into some of the main reasons.

1. You’re Uncovering Trauma

Therapy is a healing process. And often to heal your mind or soul, you’ve got to go backwards and deal with some traumatic stuff that happened in your past. No matter how deep your trauma, dealing with negative events is never easy. Feeling negative emotions is difficult and yes, painful.

But ultimately dealing with these emotions will help you move forward.

2. You’re Not Used To Feeling Your Feelings

TONS of people repress their emotions. It’s actually extremely common, and one of the reasons people seek out therapy. (even if they don’t realize that’s the reason.) Through therapy, you learn to feel, understand, and work through negative emotions. But if you’re not used to feeling those hard feelings, if you’ve been holding back negative emotions for years, when you first start to let yourself FEEL those feelings, it's uncomfortable and often painful.

So that pain you’re feeling isn’t bad. It means you’re allowing yourself to feel and ultimately heal. The pain is a part of the journey.

3. You’re Changing

Change is HARD. And part of therapy is making positive changes in your life. But just because a change is for the best doesn’t mean it’s EASY. For example, maybe you’ve realized the relationship you’re in isn’t healthy and you need to break it off. Or maybe you’ve realized you need to set boundaries with a certain friend. Do these things sound EASY or happy? No!

Part of therapy is learning more about yourself and understanding more about your relationships and the world around you. And making changes to your life is difficult and sometimes painful. So is it normal to feel worse at the beginning of therapy when you’re making changes in your life? Absolutely!

4. People In Your Life Aren’t Supportive

As you heal, some people in your life may not like the new boundaries you set. They’ll say you’ve changed. They’ll say they miss the old you. They’ll say whatever they can to get you back to the person they thought they could control or use. 

Now, some of these people may not even realize what they’re doing is wrong. But they’re putting you in a box.

While part of the therapeutic process is learning to choose yourself and make lasting, positive changes in your life, that doesn’t mean everyone around you is going to be excited for you. So, if you’ve got people in your life who see your new changes as a “betrayal” or a “negative change,” that is extremely painful and difficult. Especially when these people are likely people who you are very close with.

But ultimately, all you can control is you and your healing.  And sometimes choosing yourself means dealing with pushback from those you love.

5. You’re Not Seeing Progress

This could happen for 2 reasons:

1. Therapy Is A PROCESS

Despite people’s desires, therapy isn’t a magic wand. Trust us, we wish it was that simple. But the human experience and the human psyche is complex. (New Flash: This isn’t a bad thing.)

Because of our complex emotions and lives, therapy takes time. In fact, according to the American Psychological Foundation, many people don’t see any results for at least 6-12 sessions. (1) And often, it can take LONGER.

So if you’re still in your therapy adjustment period and you’re questioning “is it normal to feel worse at the beginning of therapy?” take into account that therapy takes TIME.

On top of that, therapy ebbs like waves. You may have a few months of extreme healing and progress. Then, things may plateau. But this isn’t a bad thing. Instead of rushing to see results, try to enjoy the small wins.

2. You Aren’t Being As Open And Honest As You Should Be

You only get out of therapy what you put in. If you’ve been going to therapy for months and aren’t seeing results, it may be time to reevaluate how honest you’re being in your sessions. It can be tempting (and easy as there’s no one there to argue with you!) to paint yourself in the best light.

But that’s not why you’re in therapy. Being honest is scary because it makes you vulnerable. But remember: the more vulnerable and honest you are, the better your life becomes. 

So face your fears, be honest, and OPEN UP. Your therapist is there to help you- not judge you. (and if they are judging you, it’s time to find a new therapist.)

So, Is It Normal To Feel Worse At The Beginning Of Therapy?

Hopefully now, you can say with confidence, YES. And understand that feeling worse for a little while is all part of the therapeutic process.

But please know, if therapy is making you feel worse for months at a time and it never gets better, it may be time to find a new therapist or talk to your therapist about what’s going on.

Sometimes therapy will make you feel worse for a little. But remember: it is totally normal to feel worse at the beginning of therapy.

Are you ready to start your therapy journey but aren’t sure where to begin?

Reach out to us here!

 

References:

1. “Understanding psychotherapy and how it works.” American Psychological Association, https://www.apa.org/topics/psychotherapy/understanding. Accessed 7 November 2023.